A good boss will want to develop an "I'm OK - You're OK" relationship with his people for reasons which are central to effective management and good results:
1. it leads to better judgments when making decisions about delegation, promotion, or recruitment.
2. It develops trust not only between boss and subordinate but within the team or department as a while and trust is the basis of good management as well as staff development.
3. It encourages realistically high expectations of a person's ability, which are more likely to be met.
4. It enables coaching and counseling to be carried out positively and effectively without judgment.
5. It enables honest appraisals of performance to be made and they can lead to genuine improvement and justified reward.
6. It creates the kind of relation in which boss and subordinates can share the same values and aim for the same goals.
7. It makes life a lot more satisfying for everyone.
As I feel good about me, and I also feel good about you, let’s work together and look at some things you can do to increase awareness of your own life position and ways you can change it if you wish.
Keep a detailed diary for a couple of days of what you say to people and the responses you get. Analyses these statements on the basis of "Who is OK?". Identify a trend and for a further week concentrate on recording the situations or the kind of statements that made the trend. If they are "I'm OK - you're OK" statements - great! if not, rephrase them until they are and consciously use them when those situations arise again. The statements should gradually change the reactions you get from people, and confirm the I'm OK - you're OK outlook. You may have to persevere if you or they have been I'm OK - you're OK for a long time, if you can share with them what you are trying to achieve, all the better.
Confide what it is you are trying to do to someone you can trust and get them to help you to identify your life position from your interactions with them. Don't indulge in 'navel gazing', stick to the facts of what you say and do, because those are the things you can start to change straight away if you want to.
Next time you have a few minutes to spare, waiting for a train, lying in the bath, or sitting in the dentist's waiting room, make a list of all your good qualities and skills, don't stop until you reach at least a dozen. Then draw up a similar list for one of your subordinates, then for another, then for your closest friend or partner. If you are married, the acid test is to do the same for your in laws - remember, don't stop until you reach at least a dozen!
1. it leads to better judgments when making decisions about delegation, promotion, or recruitment.
2. It develops trust not only between boss and subordinate but within the team or department as a while and trust is the basis of good management as well as staff development.
3. It encourages realistically high expectations of a person's ability, which are more likely to be met.
4. It enables coaching and counseling to be carried out positively and effectively without judgment.
5. It enables honest appraisals of performance to be made and they can lead to genuine improvement and justified reward.
6. It creates the kind of relation in which boss and subordinates can share the same values and aim for the same goals.
7. It makes life a lot more satisfying for everyone.
As I feel good about me, and I also feel good about you, let’s work together and look at some things you can do to increase awareness of your own life position and ways you can change it if you wish.
Keep a detailed diary for a couple of days of what you say to people and the responses you get. Analyses these statements on the basis of "Who is OK?". Identify a trend and for a further week concentrate on recording the situations or the kind of statements that made the trend. If they are "I'm OK - you're OK" statements - great! if not, rephrase them until they are and consciously use them when those situations arise again. The statements should gradually change the reactions you get from people, and confirm the I'm OK - you're OK outlook. You may have to persevere if you or they have been I'm OK - you're OK for a long time, if you can share with them what you are trying to achieve, all the better.
Confide what it is you are trying to do to someone you can trust and get them to help you to identify your life position from your interactions with them. Don't indulge in 'navel gazing', stick to the facts of what you say and do, because those are the things you can start to change straight away if you want to.
Next time you have a few minutes to spare, waiting for a train, lying in the bath, or sitting in the dentist's waiting room, make a list of all your good qualities and skills, don't stop until you reach at least a dozen. Then draw up a similar list for one of your subordinates, then for another, then for your closest friend or partner. If you are married, the acid test is to do the same for your in laws - remember, don't stop until you reach at least a dozen!
